* The Four Norsemen of the Swaying Hips
Setting Inside a Viking longhouse. Outside a storm brews and ice is blowing as the wolf of the north howls with anger. Inside the building a huge fire is burning in a rock fireplace against one of the walls. It is warm. Food has been eaten and the four Vikings present are preparing to go out for the evening.
Lief: "Erik, are we going to pillage tonight?"
Erik: "Maybe, but with the weather the way it is, well, I wouldn’t count on it. I think we might just ride around and terrorize some of the nearby villages and stop just short of pillaging."
Bjorn: "Erik’s right. Tonight’s a good night for terrorizing, but pillaging is right out."
Lief: "Well, then, what should we wear?"
  Just then Olaf walks in. He is dressed with a horned Viking helmet, heavy leather boots, frilly garters, and women’s underwear. He holds two different braziers.
Olaf: "Guys, I can’t decide on the red or black one."
Lief: Lief rummages around in a bag out of sight and pulls out a black brazier. "Well, I was going to wear this one, so maybe you should wear the red one, Olaf."
Olaf: "Ok."
Erik: "I’m not going to wear one tonight. I feel it constricts my ax swinging."
Bjorn: "But you said we weren’t going to pillage. Just terrorize."
Erik: "Oh yeah, I forgot about that. In that case I’ll be wearing the white lace pattern with matching garters."
  At that point their leader walks in, dressed to the hilt for war. He stares aghast at the four men as they finish dressing.
Leader: "You’re VIKINGS! I can’t believe what I’m seeing! I should take the sword to you right now. Vikings NEVER wear red with white undergarments because it clashes with the blood!"
Bjorn: Bjorn raises his hand. "Um, well, we’re just going terrorizing tonight."
Leader: The leader seems to understand. "Oh, ok, see you later then." The leader walks out, the men put finishing touches on their outfits, and then they walk out into the storm. A few moments later the sound of horses galloping away can be heard.

Copyright (C) 1996 by Scot Ranney

*Ok, nobody gets this, nobody at all, so I'm going to tell you. This entire sketch was inspired by the term, "The Four Horsemen of the Apocolypse" Ok, get it now?

"Oh 'tis the scurby waddle which perbs the
slippant vumlop, or say the clig mullert."

Mambo Scrambe
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